I can be so particular. I want things a certain way. I am also a picker. If it’s not my certain way, I have trouble letting it be. There has been a reoccurring theme of, “let it breathe.” I got an oil burn on my lip that is taking forever to heal, because I won’t leave it alone to heal. I’ve been processing on many fronts in life and having to be conscious of letting it be; let it breathe.
I very nearly killed Peter, the spider plant! …A spider plant!!! That’s when I really started to get it. It’s so acute in my day, but when applied broadly things start to make sense. I can be a bit of a zealot when the mood strikes me. The fact is that I really think I’m helping.
It’s possible my body realizes what is happening, but is somewhat limited in its expression. My brain is the picker. It’s possible that nothing is wrong at all. It’s possible that letting go allows for healing and healthy expansion. I don’t get to know unless I let it breathe. These little things recently were like lighthouse beacons. Shining light in all directions revealing subtle connections.
My brain was running the show here at godswap, too. I’ve been judging and allowing myself to become frustrated, so I pick at it. My body was taking its sweet time to understand what I needed, what was possible, how does it feel? … Just let it breathe and see how we feel about it when it’s settled. When its time, you’ll know to act.
It’s time. It’s time for godswap to grow up and get out of my house. I begin the real work today, writing. There is much writing, editing, and rearranging to do. I’ve started making contact with people to support me through this process. The goal is to have an open source godswap manual and rework the website into a wiki format, rather than a blog. Oh the copying and pasting fun we will have! The writing, blogging, website maintaining is boring work. Doing too much of it has burnt me out. I can’t allow that to stop the things that I do enjoy.
More important to me than all the new web action, is that I cleaned and moved my altar this weekend. Dusted the figures, stones, shells, and other bits. Polished the brass. Washed and pressed the altar cloth. Seeing it all done makes me so happy. That’s the muse that inspires my words here today.
It needed to move because it was up on a shelf too high for me to see it. I haven’t spent any time with my altar in over a year because of the height. I moved it down a shelf. As you can see, it’s now occupying two shelves. Fire safety and a possible metaphor for the spreading of love.
Taking inventory, the altar cloth is getting thin. I’m still working on making new candles. I don’t know if I still want the Obama ‘el presidente’ candle up there. The ‘make dildos not war’ sticker is really curling badly; would a frame make it look classier? I also think I need a new disco ball… Bigger this time.
I’ve caught myself blissfully staring at it every morning since. I pause with it when I come home from work. I’ve missed it. It looks so nice all spread out and uncluttered in this new space. Being the type of spiritual being that is drawn to sit with my altar is what brought me to this work. I need to remember to breathe more when doing the hard parts. Spending time with my altar was the first of many steps forward to kickstart this project into something complete and standalone.
I know my posting has been haphazard for a while and i don’t know how much that will change, but in the future you can host your own events and getting my hearsay won’t matter. It’ll be your godswap.
Would you be interested in hosting your own godswap? Want to get your friends together and deepen your understanding of one another? Please email me at email@example.com. I’m still looking to help bring these events to new venues, maybe your church, gym, or local dive bar.
Thanks for reading. Feel free to offer comments and suggestions in the comment section below.
The god(s) in me honor the god(s) in you. Let’s go play.
P.S. Peter, the spider plant, appears to be on the road to recovery. He’s been in planty ICU for about a week. Please pray for him.